What does your boyfriend think about this?
Are you going ALONE?
What happens if you miss your family?
These were usually the first words out of people’s mouths upon hearing about my trip. Sometimes, I was lucky to get a whole sentence; occasionally, the disapproval was made known through some guttural, disapproving groan accompanied by a shifted glance and awkward silence. Despite well-intentioned, these statements were opined before congratulations, good-lucks, or even simple inquiries about my proposed travel path. Gross assumptions were made not only about my ability to take care of myself, but also about the places I would be visiting. Movie storylines from Hostel and Taken were offered as evidence against my trip.
Why was it so difficult for educated individuals (male, female, old and young) to fathom a woman traveling alone? Was it the unknown? A safety factor? A gender or age issue?
Whatever the reason, I used it as a driving force to educate myself. I learned to anticipate surprise or even rejection and I prepared myself by reading (a lot) as well as trolling various internet sites in search of up-to-date, first-hand advice from people not unlike myself. I memorized the various geographic regions and researched where and if there had been any rebel or crime surges. I read travel and history books, and decided where a guided tour was absolutely necessary and where not. I bought a fake wedding ring, incredibly modest clothing, and two different head scarves. I plan on memorizing how to say “leave me alone” in the native language, and will stay in areas where many local women clearly feel safe.
Despite all of this preparation, I realize that at the end of the day something unfortunate could happen and it might have nothing to do with the fact that I am alone or a woman. I could be bitten by a snake during the tenure of my biology-related work, get malaria, or be rejected at a border for not having the right papers. I also realize that it is completely illogical to make sweeping generalizations about a country simply because one or two highly publicized incidents. I have learned to follow my gut feeling about trusting people.
I have never regretted things I have done; rather, I have regretted what I didn’t do. I am not the kind of person to sit at home and wait for opportunities to come to me. I don’t believe in foolish mistakes, I believe in well-planned decisions.
For all of you women (and men…let’s be fair now J) who have been afraid to do something because someone else told you not to, now is your chance. Relish it.
